RelationshipsTag Archive -

My Trip to Atlanta: Life Changing

November 20, 2008 in Blog,Ministry,My Life with 6 Comments

The Cadre: Phoenix Fall Retreat

I’ve mentioned it before, but I am in a youth ministry mentoring program with Jeanne Mayo called The Cadre. It is a program where Jeanne mentors youth pastors all over the country and twice during the year you get to fly down to her house to hang out with her and the other youth pastors in the group. If I had to summarize my 3-day experience in Atlanta in two words it would be: Life Changing. I won’t go into detail on everything we did (if you’d like to know ask me in person), but I would like to leave you with some lessons I learned and some things God did in my heart:

The Power of Love - if I had to describe Jeanne Mayo in a word, it’d be love. As I watched hundreds of people call her “mom”, I realized the power of loving others. She is a mom to everyone that comes into her life. I asked Jeanne how she got to where she is today and her response was, “I’ve made the decision to add value to people everyday”. In other words – she chose to love people everyday and as a result thousands of teenagers, twenty somethings, and youth pastors lives have been changed.

The Power of Family – I love learning about raising great families (because I’m preparing for mine!!!). As I looked around Jeanne’s house I could tell family was at the top of her priority list.
One thing that really stuck out to me was a “Mayo Family Creed” a document with 11 or 12 principles on it that defined their family and that they live by. The whole family had to sign it and at her sons wedding, he got a framed copy and had his wife sign it (that fires me up!). Her son actually wrote a book on how he was raised… they were very strategic with raising their family and it worked – I can’t wait for mine!

The Power of Relationships – One of the things I enjoyed the most about the trip was forming and building new relationships. I met pastors and students from all over the country who love God. I would have paid a million dollars for that part of the experience. Having friends that I can go to that don’t know everything going on in Pittsburgh and I can be totally transparent with and they’ll love me for who I am. I love everybody I met!

The Power of Refreshment – I’m now convinced that we need to take retreats once or twice a year away from everything and just take time reflecting on our lives, meeting new people, and get refreshed. This was one of those weeks!

My Future Wife – Someone spoke into my life about this – they said… You think having a wife will fill a need in you only God can fill. Unless you fill that void with God, you’ll get married and be terribly disappointed because you’d be expecting your wife to fill a void that she was never created to fill. (Sick stuff!)

The Unlimited Potential of Young People – There were over 80 Masters Commission students ages 18-23 serving us for the week. These are some incredible people who love God with all of their heart. Seeing what God was doing in and through them go me so pumped up I can’t even put it into words. They are all going to go on and be world changers – we really do need to believe in the upcoming generation.

Respect – Jeanne “slapped” me in this face with this one. She said, “Some of you are sarcastic and try being funny all the time because that is how you find security. You need to quit that – if you want people to respect you and take you seriously – grow up and be secure in who you are.” That hit me deep… reminds me of the whole “Am I going to be a leader or a clown” lesson.

Wherever you are – Be there – Jeanne stressed this principle! This is something I struggle with – a thousand things always going through my mind and I’m not always “there”. She not only taught it, but modeled it. Making every second count – I need to work on this.

Legacy – The Cadre (youth pastor mentoring) is the legacy Jeanne Mayo wants to leave behind. A legacy of raising up leaders who will raise up leaders and change the world. It was amazing to see this unfolding before my eyes – I was seeing a legacy being lived out. I would love to do a mentoring group like this one day… What do you want your legacy to be?

I learned about 10,o00 other things and had one of the most incredible experiences of my life at Jeanne’s. I wish I could go on, but once again, I’ve seemed to blog too much!!! I’ll probably have more to come on this series… stay tuned.

Ask anything Friday tomorrow…get ready!

Love you guys – I missed all of you! – Bubs

The Road to Chicago (Part 4)

October 9, 2008 in Blog,Marathons with 2 Comments

The Power of a Partner

“A genuine friend encourages and challenges us to live out our best thoughts, honor our purest motives, and achieve our most significant dreams.”
-Dan Reiland
Another one of the big lessons I learned throughout the whole marathon training process was the power of a partner. Pastor Larry has been my mentor since I graduated high school in 2003. Since then we’ve done so much together and now not only is he still one of my mentors, but he is also a great friend. We decided to run this marathon together in January and we’ve taken the journey together over the past 10 months. I’ve had so many great talks with PL over our 3-4 hour long runs on Saturday mornings and I could not have done everything we’ve done if he had not been by my side.

If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in Heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.

-Matthew 18:19,20

Is there anything more important than who we take the journey of our lives with? From family, to friends, to who we marry. You will go no further in life than the people you surround yourself with. That is an absolute fact.

So ask yourself… do you have friends, family members, and a possible significant other that encourages and challenges you to live out your best thoughts, honor your purest motives, and to achieve your most significant dreams?

If not I suggest taking the advice of one professional speaker, “My friends told me I could never be a professional communicator. So I did something about it. I went out and got some new friends.”

Who are you partnering with?


Time Management (Part 3)

September 23, 2008 in Blog,leadership with 2 Comments

Those Who Start the Journey with you Seldom Finish with You


If you’re anything like me you have an incredibly hard time telling people no or telling them something they do not want to hear. Because of this I often find myself “overbooking” my schedule to please people. In elementary school, middle school, high school, and even for some off college it seemed as if I had an infinite amount of time to spend with people, so I would hang out with as many people as I could as often as I could. As I continue in life’s journey I am finding that the more you continue to grow in life the more important your time is and how you spend your time. You end up having to choose very intentionally who to spend time with and what you spend your time doing. Craig Groeschel had a great post on this.

i.e. Right now I am running a marathon, working 30 hours a week at church, I’m a full time college student, and go to Bible School. I have less time to spend with people now then I did when I was in high school and only had a 7 hour school day. When I get married, I’ll need to spend a ton of time with my wife so my time will be even more limited…etc.

I often have people challenge me that I only spend time with “big dogs” or “people that can add value to me” and that bothered me incredibly. I would scream inside, “I only have so much time in a week, month, year, etc… and everyone wants my time and if I don’t give it to them then I’m the bad guy… I CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY….AHHHHH.”

I’ve discovered that it’s a fact that:

  • “You will go no further than the people you surround yourself with”
  • “You show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future”
  • “You attract who you are, not who you want”


I guess what I am finding is this:

“People who have nothing to do usually want to spend their time with you!”

“Those Who Start the Journey with you Seldom Finish with You”


Friendships in life develop and are constantly changing as you go through seasons of life. I am convinced that “best friends” should be able to not see each other for years, and yet they’ll get together and it will be like they’ve never left. Yet so many people make the assumption that it will always be like the “good old days” and they get upset when it’s not. Unfortunately these people end up missing out on the journey because they refuse to go on and accept change. Even when you do give them time, they end up wasting it by complaining about how it isn’t like the good old days (this drives me insane…Grow and Get a Life!)

I want to spend my time wisely with people who:

  • Can constantly challenge me to dream, go after God, and change the world
  • Are going somewhere in life and understand the value of time
  • Are a blast to hang out with
  • Don’t spend 90% of their conversations complaining
  • Will treat me the same even if they haven’t seen me in years

If I spent time with everybody who wants my time… I’d burn out, would never have time alone, would never have devotions, and would never be effective in life. I love what Paul said:

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
-Galatians 1:10

If I am not intentional with how I spend my time and who I spend it with… I will miss out on so much of what God has for me…I’m here to please an audience of One!

Realize I am not talking about spending time with people who are hurting and need counseling and things of that nature… I am talking about my personal life.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

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