And if your eye distracts you from God, pull it out and throw it away. – Matthew 18:9

This past weekend I was in Florida spending some time with a pastor of a church plant. It was an incredible time and he taught me a lot. One of the best things he taught me was along the lines of accountability.

Why Accountability?

Some of the heroes they had when they planted their church have fallen morally. It crushed them. They are determined not to end up in the same boat. They will not end up on CNN. They will not end up having to tell their kids that mommy and daddy will no longer be together. They will never look their spouse in the eyes and tell them they messed up. The solution? Accountability.

They said, “Everyone who falls morally had something going on in their hearts and minds that they didn’t shine light on. They did not expose thoughts or temptations they had. Since they never exposed them, they grew and grew and grew until they acted on them.”

The earlier you expose bad thoughts and desires, the better. The longer you wait, the easier it becomes to justify those thoughts and actions.

Two Choices to Exposing Sin:

1. We Expose it
2. It Exposes Us

HALTBS – Times You are Most Likely To Mess Up:

When You are: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Bored, or Stressed.

Tips for Accountability Conversations:

• Push the awkwardness - it is awkward at first, but once you get it out in the open, it’s easier.

• Be Consistent - Once a Week

• Be Vulnerable - The example they used was when you’re vulnerable and accountable with this stuff, you are giving your accountability partner a dagger. They’ll know stuff about you that could kill you, but ideally, they’re giving you a dagger by being vulnerable with you. It’s a sacred thing. Respect it.

Questions to ask:

• What have you struggled with in the past?

• What are you struggling with now?

• What is most likely to cause you to fall right now?

• Who is messing with you right now? What is her name? If you were going to cheat right now or fantasize about someone, who would it be?

• Are you going out of your way to have a conversation with someone?

• Have you acted out? Looked on the internet? Went out of your way to get a response from a woman?

I know I am going to start including these tough questions into some of my accountability talks. How about you? Let’s raise the standard. Let’s do this right. Let’s be accountable.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. -Matthew 7:14

Yesterday I talked about the necessity of boundaries. Today, I want to focus on how I’m implementing them in my life.

Here is the Progression I’ve found of healthy boundaries:

Decide on Your Values -> Set Boundaries -> Get Accountability

Values - the ideal way I want to live a certain area of my life!

Boundaries – What I’m going to establish in my life to make sure that value is carried out. These are uncompromisable!

Accountability - Intentionally putting someone in my life to make sure I’m not just all talk

Example:

Value - I want to be physically fit, look great with my shirt off, and be athletic enough to do what I want.

Boundary - I’m going to work out for an hour a day, 6 days a week. I’ll also only consume between 2,000-2,500 calories per day, while maintaining a healthy diet.

Accountability - Me and a friend check in with each other at least once or twice a week to make sure we’re on track. I also record calories in an app so I can show anyone at anytime what I’ve been eating.

I’ve gone through this process in every area of my life:

1. Personal Growth
2. Spiritual
3. Family
4. Career
5. Physical Fitness
6. Financial
7. Social

I encourage you to take these 7 areas in your life, decide what you want your values to be in those areas, set-up boundaries, and meet with someone to look over your list with you. Have them make sure it’s sustainable, and have them hold you to it.

It will be a pain in the butt for a while, but after a few months, you’ll see changes start to take place, your life will seem more balanced, you’ll be getting more done, and most important, getting the results you want in life!

Thoughts?

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matthew 5:28

Every second – $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography, Every second – 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography, Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States?.

I’ve never met anyone who is addicted to porn who is actually proud of it. Everyone I meet is hurting, has caused pain to people around them, and longing for a way out. It’s the easiest thing to hide, but one of the hardest things to come clean to somebody about. The shame can be almost unbearable. So how can you get free?

1.) Repent and Pursue God - In James it says, if you draw near to God, He’ll draw near to you. Though you’ll feel so distant from God it’s not even funny, if you’ll pursue Him, His desires will start becoming your desires, and porn will become less and less of a temptation.

2.) Recognize You’re Not Alone - There are millions of people struggling with the exact same thing you are and feeling the exact same way you are. You’re not alone.

3.) Humble Yourself and Tell Somebody that Loves you Unconditionally – This is the hardest step. Find somebody you know will love you regardless, and will walk you through the journey to freedom.

4.) Get Accountability - The video above is promoting 2 programs: X3Watch and Safe Eyes - both are accountability software that will block sites you shouldn’t be going to, and send any questionable sites you do visit to two accountability partners of your choice.

5.) Control Your Thoughts - You can control your thoughts – that is a fact. Philippians says to think on Good things only! What you put in your heart through what you watch and listen to, will fill your thought life. If you’ve been watching porn for a while, you’re probably filled with bad thoughts. Focus on putting positive deposits into your heart (go to church, listen to sermons, read great articles). Garbage in, Garbage Out. Purity in, Purity out!

Another Great Resource is XXX Church which is headed up by Craig Gross – you’ll find tons of great videos and articles to help you.

I hope this helps you – if you’re in need of someone to talk to – Send me a message on Facebook – I’d love to talk to you.